I will not fail me

So I fell into the depths of despair, and self-annihilated my motivation to be a healthy happy person. I feel stupid and shamed. I didn't want to publish the last post, but I have to acknowledge those sad, angry feelings and move on.

So I entered the Bridge to Brisbane fun run. Crazy, I know.

And I'm full of ideas and plans and excitement about devoting the next 6 weeks to preparing for the fun run - eating well, doing the c25k program... I bought a new sports bra for my boobies...

Uni starts tomorrow.. I was looking at my schedule. There is a timetable clash! I didn't want to believe it at first. The 5km starts at 9:40 am - but I have day 3 of my intensive negotiation class...! Soooooooo disappointed.

But the 10km starts at 6 am. Surely 3 hours is long enough to walk/jog/crawl 10kms, end up in the city, shower at Southbank and be at Uni by 9? It sounds like enough time, but yeah.

fuck it
Im gonna do it

So I am going to find out how to change my ticket to the 10km. I don't want to lose money :) And it was giving me something to aim for. I'm sick of trying to get under 100kg... (I will do this too) but maybe aiming to lose numbers isn't enough for me. I am shifting the focus to doing something - participating in the fun run. Only now, I've upped the odds - to do something totally out of my league and make it to class by 9...  might as well go the whole Hog.. do the full Monty... why do something half-assed?

We'll see. This will be an interesting journey :)

One of these days I will introduce you to B-Jives...  but for now, I'll just add that I borrowed her measuring tape. I'm glad I did...

7 Nov 2011 - I was 120kgs and 120cm around my waist.
14 Jul 2012 - I was 106kgs and 112.5 cm around my waist.

So despite all the ups and downs... I'm still at 14kgs lost. I feel better now. Some people only want to lose 14kgs... I'm still in the running to be a happy and healthy person :)