Neeeeearly there :)

I have another loss of 700g.. which brings me to 101.4kg... sooo close to the big 20!
I'm excited for the big 20 because it means two things - 1. I have lost 20kgs, and 2. I will be under 100kg! Awesome!

And I have to remind myself how close I am and not give up now. I have been slipping up a bit with eating.. but I've taken the attitude that everyday is a new day... start everyday with a promise to myself and keep it as best I can.

And it will become habit. It just has to. It will get to the point where I'm good more often than bad and the weight will come off. It sucks that it has taken 10 years to get my ass into gear.. I have missed out on feeling attractive and good about myself in my 20s, when my body was young and my face was bright. But instead of mourning the loss of my youth (;p) I will love my 30s... I'm 31 now, and so much more wiser when it comes to the universe and myself... I think I really am coming into my own :) Graduating, losing weight, the kids growing up fairly normal - sure the house is a mess, we are always broke and I feel like a blob, but things will get better.



We really are lucky and we have come a long way in the last 10 years :) Even Allan has grown up!

I have another c25k session this afternoon. My calves are still a bit sore, so I'm feeling anxious - but I'm still going to do it :) I am still planning on doing the fun run - and I even plan to keep it up while on holiday next week! I have to just make sure I push myself to do it!

*******

I just did the c25k again. I'm starting to feel frustrated with it - I'm not ready to give up, but my calves are so sore. I remember the last time I attempted the program I had sore muscles for the whole two weeks, but on the last day I did it, I was feeling good and the muscles weren't hurting, but I could tell something was going to happen if I didn't get proper shoes. I was using Dunlop Volleys, which anyone who knows of them, knows they aren't made for running ;p I remember with every step I took I could feel pains shooting up my shins - and I knew if I kept going I would do damage. But now I have proper shoes (but more suited for walking/cross training) and I know the muscles need to get used to it - I'm just feeling impatient!

I will still try and keep going - and if, by the time of the fun run (in 6 weeks and 3 days) I am still grumbling etc and my muscles are still giving me the shits, I will give up the running thing.. until I start training for the next fun run ;p we'll see how I feel at the time!

Day 3 done... kill me .. actually no, numb me!!

omg someone tell me the pain ends.

My legs from the ankles to the knees have been so sore... running along whichever muscle on the inside of the leg. The rest of my legs are fine, none of the other muscles hurt during or after, though my quads did hurt the day after...I figured that was standard.

The breathing heavy doesn't bother me. The feeling that I'm jogging in slow motion doesn't really bother me. It's annoying, I feel like lead. Like my body is pushing the other way. It feels like I'm barely moving!

I really hope the pain in my legs goes away.

On the upside, I did awesome during the first listen of the podcast, all things aside. Today out of the 8 60 sec intervals, I missed none of them! Thats right - I did the whole thing!

But everytime I slowed to a walk, my legs were hurting. Bad. I couldn't bring my self to attempt the podcast on the way home as well.. so I walked - but it hurt. My legs felt like spiral pasta - all tight and twisted, but like jelly at the same time.

But focussing on the positives, I didn't collapse on the way home - and I did all the intervals in the podcast! So It is kinda a successful week. I will do the same week 1 podcast next week too :)

My eating today and yesterday has been pretty bad too. But for dinner tonight, I'm having vegie soup. A big bowl of vegie soup.

I gotta work this weekend, so my big challenge for the weekend is no junkfood at work!!!

And then I'll weigh in monday or tuesday :) Monday will be the next day for c25k. Hopefully my leg muscles will feel more used to it by then.

I remember the last time I did c25k, at the end of the second week I was feeling confident etc and didn't have sore muscles at all, but I knew my shoes were crap and if I kept going I would do damage.

I feel good after the run though - proud of myself :) So I'm enjoying that part ;p

Here is the link to the page where you can download the podcasts if you wanna give them a go...

C25k podcasts

Sore calves and lead legs... c25k day #2

Oooow. I keep reminding myself that it will get easier... but I read somewhere that it doesn't. Those sayings flash through my head "No pain, no gain" and .. well that was it. There is also "Just do it" but that just reminds me of Waterboy - "You can do it" (said by Rob Schneider)...

But what really got me through today was the determination not to flunk out of the fun run. I imagined myself trying to keep up with people, everyone starting together and then me puffing and panting back to a walk after a minute. And then I lose Christine cos she's so awesome she can do what I can't in 34 minutes. I don't want to do that... I want to jog the whole 5ks.... is it possible ?

So today was day 2 of c25k... I did the podcast twice on the 5.79k route from my place to the other end of the street and back. You are only supposed to do the podcast once 3 times a week.. but you know me... go hard or go eat something ;p

I'm not doing all the intervals... on the first go, I get through the first 4 intervals... and then walk through number 5 and then i think i miss maybe 1 of the following 3... and on the way back, i do whatever I think I can handle... the very last interval before getting home i thought I was gonna stop breathing or choke on air or something.. but I pushed through it :)

Anyway, another day, another muscle broken...

Another one bites the dust

yaaaaaay

Another kilo gone :) Now I just need to lose 2.2 kgs to be under 100kgs :)

I really wanna do this in the next two weeks, by the time I see Smother. So I can shut her up when she nags me about my weight - I can tell her I have lost 20kgs... and if she doesn't stop, I'll eat until I put it all back on again.

She drives me crazy, she really does! She takes whatever little infomation I give her and turns it into the most ridiculous situations...

She's the one that within the first minutes of seeing me, starts lecturing me about soft drink, when there will be none in my hand, or around the house. She will try and tell me I never gained weight when I lived with her - but she seems to forget I put on 20kgs when I was 14-15 years old and again when I was 20... and that I actually lost all that weight when I moved out.

I know it's not all her. But its hard to stay sane under stress and she stresses me out. The biggest challenge will be spending a week with her on the school holidays... I think I will be going for a lot of walks that week :)

But back to my happy day :) Im now 102.1kgs!

C25K day#1

I am running!

well not really... but Forrest Gump started somewhere and so am I.

I did the c25k week1 podcast today, to the other end of the street and back. I actually played the podcast twice, and even attempted the runs on the way back as well. I'm feeling quite chuffed actually ;p

The course I am doing is 5.79km, and usually, walking fast, takes me 1hr 10mins. Today, with the jogging involved it took me an hour. I'm pretty happy with that. The fun run is 5k - so I am obviously aiming to make that a much shorter time!

Particularly when Bobbi can do it in 24 minutes. And Christine did it in 35. Buggar them... my competitive nature will enjoy beating them hahahaha. First goal - be faster than Christine. She does have a head start on me.. which only make the victory sweeter!

I haven't officially weighed in yet, I'll do it tomorrow I guess... hoping not to have gained weight :) I did weigh myself yesterday I think, and I hadn't gained weight.

Also received the 'Eating Out Guide' for WW propoints today. So I am set.. i guess...

I need some motivation .. :S

I feel blegh

I need to renew my resolve. Haven't been a good girl this week. I've been trying to stick to the points, but I've had pizza and chinese for dinner this week. I've been snacking.

Obviously I know what I should be doing. I can do it. I just haven't been strong enough. How embarrassing. I feel like a failure and those little creepy feelings of giving up are lurking at the corners of my mind.

But I am in control of my destiny.. maybe. I would like to think I am! I have made a huge batch of vegie soup to snack on or detox with. I bought a dvd player  for $10 on ebay so I can Zumba... the exciting thing is now the remote for the old one will turn up. Thats how it usually goes.

I am 1 week into the 3 Months to Summer Challenge.. and I ain't doing so good :s But I'm not going to dwell on it. No I will not.

There are still 11 weeks left to lose 10kgs... :) I can still get to about 95kgs by then. Yes. Yes. YES!

So I am setting myself some goals for this week - and I will feel better this time next week for sticking to them.

1. No junk food. Snacking on fruit and veg only.
2. Start the c25k.
3. ZUMBA ZUMBA ZUMBA!

Guess what? I've just done something proactive... I registed for the PWC Cool Night Classic on the 1st November.

So yeah - something to aim for :)

Feeling better now that I've got my self-pity off my chest.

Meet the Amazing B-Jives

We all have our down moments. And the key to losing wieght is not giving up. I think it's all in the mind - to have that self-discipline to stick to eating healthy foods or going for that walk. To think positive thoughts, not beat yourself up over binges .. but also try and avoid those binges in the first place. Eat more fruit and vegies, even though you don't want to.

Love fruit and vegies. Love exercise.

B-Jives has somehow done all these things... or even, is in the habit of doing these things more often than not - and she has lost a whopping 50+ kgs...!

 I don't know how she has done it - but she has. She had her lightbulb moment and something clicked - and she stuck to it -even though she ended up with a Pepsi- Max addiction.

There is no room for envy here.... just pride. I know how much I have struggled over the years, so I am proud of the fact that she did it. It is soooo hard. It's all in the mind. Walking around everyday is easy. Apparently she cleans. That makes sense, cos her house is in perfect order... and she devotes time to her 3 beautiful daughters - there are so many reasons I wish I was more like her.


She has inspired me to start doing fun runs. I always wanted to run and swim.. and the swimming things is a bit difficult because I tend to go deaf for a while afterwards, no matter what kind of earplugs or swimmers' eardrop I use. Time to invest in a bathing cap! I want to run so I can be around her. Her personality is infectious -

And no she is not perfect - I'm not here to dwell on her secrets... but if I could share one it would be how she stays motivated. I don't know. I'll have to ask her. I'm also wondering if she still thinks like a fat person...

Read Bobbi's advice on weightloss here ...

I have learnt a couple of things from Bobbi  -

 

1. It won't happen overnight, but it will happen ;p 3 years is a long time, but if you keep going, you will be there before you know it

 

2. Incidental exercise is the key - clean that house! Run up and down those stairs!

 

3. Live a little - she drinks Pure Blonde beer, you know.

 

And because this is MY blog, I had to show you - This is B-Jives!

 

Love you Boobi :)

A loss is a loss!

lol That's the spirit!

Another 800g lost - I didn't want to weigh in on sunday after the massive carbicide I committed the night before.... and I weighed myself yesterday and had gained 500g...

But I decided to bite the bullet and do it today.. and my weight is now 103.1 kg.

A loss is a loss.. so keep on swimming !

Fun Runs coming up.....

So there is a night-time fun run on 1 November... that is 2 months away. A Thursday night. Surely there won't be work or uni. Should I? I should put my money where my mouth is! Entry fee $20...

2012 PWC Cool Night Classic






Then there is one on 7 April... a Sunday morning in the city. Entry fee is $65!

Fun Run Pink


And a killer 14km City2South fun-run on 16th June.... this would take a while to train in - being 14km! But it is possible if I was committed... entry is $45 earlybird if you buy before Nov 30. After that it can go up to $70..


City2South

Food Coma

I overate last night, and didn't make good choices today. That's the crux of it.
It was after a bad afternoon, I was tired and cranky and the Moon was full. I have an implanon rod in my arm, so I rarely get my period, but this weekend has been really heavy man. I had Uni both days this weekend for Negotiating in Legal and Commercial Disputes. Intensive mode and the pressure of performance. Questioning myself on reflection.
 
Combined with disappointment over B2B (oh yeah, that stupid thing was today), and worry cos Allan hasn't been able to work this last week due to a cyst being cut out of his face, by the time I got home last night I was a selfish wreck. I intruded on a neighbour and the dog got to her dinner. I snapped at QR officials and then made a dick of myself trying to have my point heard.
 
I ate. A lot. Biscuits, toast, wraps, potato chips.
When I went to bed, I felt sick. When I woke up, I felt full. And I made some bad choices today with food too.
 
Remorseful. I havent weighed in today - I wanna get all the shit out first... ? But I will tomorrow or tuesday either way.
 
On the way to Uni I listened to a song I hadn't heard for a long time. It felt like something celestine, cos my phone was on shuffle. It made me feel a bit better.

I'll be your mirror
Reflect what you are, in case you don't know
I'll be the wind, the rain and the sunset
The light on your door to show that you're home

When you think the night has seen your mind
That inside you're twisted and unkind
Let me stand to show that you are blind
Please put down your hands
'Cause I see you

I find it hard to believe you don't know
The beauty that you are
But if you don't let me be your eyes
A hand in your darkness, so you won't be afraid

When you think the night has seen your mind
That inside you're twisted and unkind
Let me stand to show that you are blind
Please put down your hands
'Cause I see you

 I'll be your mirror

 

(Velvet Underground)

 

 
And as the great master Dory said